Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Lemme c, camp, camp, camp... For all u guys that haven't experienced it, let me let you know now... Camp is over rated... That's the best way to sum everything... Just try and make as many friends of the same sex as possible not look for the nearest thing with boobies cos u'll ave plenty tym to look for em during cds and all. Neways my "strong spirit" had to live up to its name ,d trust it nah... It attracted one married woman, asin, no be small matter ooh... " Where are you", "come and meet me in so so so place", "come let me buy food for you"... U trust me nah... I turned "stealth mode" c as I became scarce... Dodging in the mammy market, dodging on the parade ground... Dodging right inside my hostel... I even to tell her to free me, but trust her nah... She no gree, professing her undying love to me (forgetting she has a husband and all) I was sooo glad when camp ended and she had to relocate back to meet her husband cos she was even planning to stay with me in ondo state!
On getting my posting letter, I saw that I had been posted to a group of schools and received the news with mixed feelings, on one hand I was sad that I didn't get a bank and on the other hand I was happy that at least I would have some tym for myself and all... For where, the "group of schools" turned out to be a room with 3 desks, yep, will say it again, a room with 3 desks!! Had to beg the lady there to reject me for where, she went on and on about her vision and mission and how God called her to be an educationist and so on and so on... And that she can't reject me... C me c wahala... Madam u are operating a mushroom school from a room in your house with 3 desks and you are expecting me ami, scarlet boy a graduate of economics and statistics to teach a bunch of primary school kids??? I mean!! So, I had to report at the council and though the matter is still ongoing, I'm optimistic... Then I lost my blackberry yesterday... Not to worry, its with me... I forgot it in a taxi (not empty by the way) and after calling him and getting drenched and standing for 3 hours I got my precious blackberry!!!!! And the best thing is that the guy refused to collect a dime! Thank God they are still some good people left in Nigeria. Neways that's what's been happening to me since camp... But gist boku no be small... But like I say... All in due tym...
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Yeah, its been a while since my last post... well you cant rily blame me... i just discovered twitter and blackberry messenger... so as u can expect my minds not rily into blogging again... dont know why but i feel tired whenever i want to type on a pc and the endless pings keep me awake till 2/3am sometimes so u can say my lifes revolving round my bb now... the endless pings are driving my sister crazy and she has vowed to "misplace" the fone... i just think she's jealous... so i turn twenty something on the 18th and as usual, im not looking forward to it cos... im suposed to spend it on the road thanks to an organization called nysc that decided to share our call up letters the following day... anyways contrary to last year when i had little to celebrate, i have reasons to be happy... im now a graduate, my social lifes been organized and its as if the big guy above has answered my prayers cos aside the odd call at night from "hidden numbers" my "strong spirit" has been subdued... although im yet to find that special someone, i know deep down that shes around the corner... i have that gut feeling that someone is on the way... i just know it... so im praying to God for another year of divine health, favour, grace and all... and i know in that he's going to do it in his own special way...
On the nysc matter sef... i wake up at night and pray to God that i dont get posted to one no mans land... cos my friends that are serving in some remote places ehn... well lets say their stories are not that encouraging... so Baba God, if you are reading this... please do well for me ooh... cos i dont want to be posted to a boko haram/religious crisis/ kidnapping state, i just want a nice cool place, and posting preferably in a bank or company where i can be retained and not in a school, before my strong spirit re emerges and the female students..... lets just say im not a big "r kelly" fan if u get my drift...
back to the strong spirit issue, like two weeks ago, was at tfc with a friend (well in my broke state, friends do all the taking out now, and my friend was a guy) when i noticed this gal cutting eye for me... i pretend i dont see her till my friend notices and nudges me
scarletboy: werin nah
friend: see that fine gal deh look u nah...
scarletboy: abeg, u sure say no be u, u no see as i deh dressed
(and for a while in a way of subduing my "strong spirit" ive been in a state of disarray asin, stoped shaving but trim the edges, wear a lot of pam slippers sha u get my drift... while my friend was dressed to kill....)
friend: i deh tell u say na u she deh look
scarletboy: well na she sabi
we chilled for some time till my friend excused himself cos he saw a gal that he was tracking... next thing u know this fine gal takes my friends seat
gal: ehm... hello...
scarletboy: hi, whats good?
gal: my names sandra, u?
scarletboy: scarletboy, nice to meet u sandra, what can i d for u?
gal: (blushing)... nothing at the moment... ehm... please dont get this the wrong way... i have been staring at you since you walked in and honestly i dont know why, i just feel like somethings pushing me to want to know you better, please, ive never done this and frankly now ive said whats on my mind i feel sorta foolish... look u dont have to say anything i see u ave a blackberry (picking up my phone) let me drop my pin and phone number... hope to hear from u soon (standing up)... rily hope to hear from u soon...
omo... after two days of chatting with her, ive managed to push her to the friends zone, that is after i found out shes just 16... so i told her the only reasonable thing... call me when ur 18 babe...
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
I know its been a while since we last talked and all and I wish I could think of a reason why I refused to stay in touch but doing that would just amount to excuses so I want to say im sorry and I will try to do better.
I know there was a time my dad A.K.A Papa C thought I was gay and even I had my doubts about my sexuality cos I just seemed to roll with guys and never with girls and so I came to you in prayer and asked that you create a change in my life and sorta make me get over my girlifobia or just make girls talk to me, notice me and stuff so we might at least have a civil conversation or just get over my whole shyness issue (yeah… that was a while back). But Gog, u see…….. I have come again, not like the proverbial oliver twist looking for more but to complain cos thete is a problem, now don’t get me wrong, I thank you for answering my prayer (which when I think of it, was kinda lame in the first place) but like psalm 23 v….. the part that says something about a cup running over…… will find the exact verse, yes, my cup now runs over, I now need a tanker to contain the spill over. It was ok or even cool when a total stranger walked up to me and we just started chatting, now this almost seems to happen everywhere I go, markets, school, church, when I use the bus, just name it. Now it has extended to girls asking me out, now while I don’t frown on the idea of a chic asking me out (I think its real sexy) and while I also think the tables should be reversed once in a while u know and before I sound over dramatic like my sister in-law, its happened over 20 times this year alone, I think I get hit on by girls more than the way an average girl gets hit on by guys, now its scary because now married women, cousins, friends girlfriends for no reason find me attractive enough to want to have something with (trust me, I know im not, contrary to what some people think, the face that stares at me outa the mirror isn’t and im sticking with my mirror). Now, while I thought this was just… I don’t know… normal??! I got the scare of my life when I went to fill my teeth sometime this year and the cashier (who claimed to be very spiritual and almost went into the seminary to become a priest) loked at me and said my spirit is very strong and that he’s very sure that its girls that follow you and not the other way around (cue: dumb silence) he further went on to call me oga, master etc… now if it was in my room, no problem, but imagine telling you this in a crowded payment room in a general hospital… now you get the picture.
Now that ive stated my case gear God, I want you to please let this cup pass over me, I know it was cool back when uni chicks were all on my case but now I have some peoples mothers/wives, cousins, friends chicks and even some under aged minors like one 14 year old gal that called me up 2 weeks ago, I’ve changed my number to no avail, they always seem to get my number no matter what I do. I thought it was my soap (irish springs) and changed it to dettol to no avail, I thought it was my body lotion (nivea) and changed it to Vaseline still to no avail… so im please asking that this blessing please pass to other areas of my life like my finances, favour in the labour market but please put a cap like BP put a cap on the oil well in the gulf of new mexico on this blessing, weaken my strong spirit before I do something desperate like go to T.B Joshua for deliverance or something and maybe you could divert this blessing to some people I know, u know the contents of my heart so you know who im talking about so I don’t need to name names….
Thank you for answered prayers, yours faithfully,
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Time: 7:00, Location: CSSJ.
I was back in ss2 in the mighty, it was a Tuesday morning and while other students were getting ready for classes and all, u trust me now… I was there gisting with other students when suddenly the bell went for breakfast and there was pandemonium the next thing I know I was looking for how to iron my uniform but the damn iron was seriously messing up, either the cord was too short or there was something wrong with the surface I wanted to iron on. While I was thinking of what to do the next thing I heard was the voice of Mrs. Awe and Mr. Sunday (of blessed memory) counting down from 10 for everybody to leave the hostel, so see me with soap suds and all on my head and but ass naked running round the dorm trying desperately to avoid these two terrors (I don’t know why these two people scared the hell outa me back then and still do till this very day) the next thing I see feel a presence behind me as I’m hiding behind a really big wooden locker, someone grabs me and… I wake up in a cold sweat! My heard beating like I had been running for ages and for the next 20 minutes I had to convince myself that I wasn’t still in secondary school, I mean it was so bad that I still smelt the soap suds and had to repeatedly check if there really was soap on my head!
I have played that fateful day over and over again in my head and I don’t know why I have goose bumps whenever I think of it or other horrible experiences (cold shudder) anyway, things haven’t been that great and as hard as I want to write something nice, rosy or cheerful, doing that will be a lie cos of the way I feel.
Now if you’ve followed this blog by now you should know that I’m not the most optimistic person in the world and all but if I knew that life after school would be like this ehn… let me keep that thought to myself. So I’m halfway out of school, I say halfway because although I’ve seen my final results (I aced them by the way) I’m yet to do my clearance. Why you might ask me? Well… my department in their inept way didn’t send some of our names to the screening committee on time and that in turn led to the clearance of some of my classmates while the others (which I happen to fall under as usual) are still waiting for our screening certificates before we can now proceed for clearance (sigh) and service has been shifted till November for the whole department, I mean, by all logical means, if one finishes exams in February or early march why cant he/she serve in July like all other sane departments? Anyway, back to me, so I have all this time on my hand and im like, ok, look at the bright side, use the spare time to do something in NIIT, but im stuck in Benin till I finish my clearance I mean, this schooldoes not want to let me go oh, see me, see trouble! So to while away time too I decided to get a job and show papa c that I’m responsible and all and all the places ive gone to so far have been discouraging, I mean, why would some people who have respectable firms and all offer a graduate N15,000 a month or N20,000 for marketing? I work my ass off getting customers or telling the public about ur products and I get a lousy N20,000? I mean lets be fair. So I’ve decided to remain at home till I get an offer that doesn’t make me feel like im an illiterate! Abi what do u think?
On a final note, good luck to the super chickens, sorry eagles in south Africa, hope they bring back the cup (ROTFLMAO)
Thursday, April 22, 2010
MY IDEAL LOVE
I want a love like you thinking of me thinking of you thinking of me type of love
Or me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself about how I feel about you type of love
Or hating how jealous you are but loving how much you want me all to yourself type of love or seeing how good your first name sounds so good to my last name
I wanted to see how far I could go without calling or thinking about you and I barely made it out of my room
I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep and wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love or wondering who loves the other more, what’s she doing at this exact moment or slow dancing with her in the middle of my room to the music of our hearts closing my eyes and imagining how love is cos it hurts when she's not there.
I want to place all those little post-it notes all around my room so she doesn’t need to guess how much I love her
and just like in secondary school, I want to spend hours on the phone not saying a word, fall asleep and see her right next to me, feel her soft smooth silky body, feel at peace whenever she’s with me cos that’s the effect she has on me
I wanna count how many ways I love her then loose count halfway and have to start all over again type of love,
I want to celebrate one of those one month anniversaries, even if they really aren’t anniversaries but just do it
I wanna fall in the ring tone my phone plays when she calls and talk to her till I loose my breath cos she leaves me breathless expending my lungs then I inhale all of her back into me
I want a love that makes me need to change my gsm caller plan to something that allows me talk longer to her cos in all honesty 24 hours isn’t enough to tell her how much I love her, even if God extends the days to 50 hours, it wont still be enough to let her know how I feel about her.
I want a love that makes me stu stu stu stu stutter just thinking about how strong this love is type of love and
I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair as a symbol of how I feel about her type of love
I want a love that makes me want to cross a busy road, hit hit by a bus, loose my memory, get transported to another state or country, maybe up north, just to get treated and someday meet up again with her so I can fall in love with her again in a different language and see whether it still feels the same type of love and
I want a love that is unexplainable as she is and till I meet her…………………
Like I said earlier, its really deep, seriously, I wonder if someone will ever make me feel this way or better still, do people especially in Naija still feel this way? and frankly does this type of love still exist? Anyway, if you do find someone that makes you feel this way, don’t hesitate to tell me… maybe she’ll have a sister (lol)
Saturday, April 17, 2010
I know its been a while that I posted something on this blog… trust me it wasn’t totally my fault… but I will try and give a brief summary of what happened since my last post…
Ok, exams have come and gone with their usual stress, sleepless nights and migraines but like they say… I did my best and as thus can only hope for the best from my lecturers as per result and all, my department had their final year week (finally, see the pix ) before the exam that is and it went well, apart from the dinner which was largely marginalized and trust yours truly, I and a coupla friends decided to boycott the silly dinner and go clubbing which I must say made more sense, but that’s another story for another day, I (finally) submitted my project after much shakara from my supervisor, he approved it (after a little incentive from yours truly i.e, a bottle of vino), my land lady aka Bwehole (from her pronunciation of borehole, trust her benin tongue nah…) finally got me to leave her hostel. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I didn’t want to leave her hostel or that I was making trouble, she was just becoming impossible! And so lucky for me, I moved to Papa C’s crib in town lets call my new abode no 79 and was actually glad for a change in environment and style of living so I said goodbye to the communual life of my former hostel and took another step towards bachelorhood little did I know… first was the constant 6am wakeup call thanks to the noisy bikes in the area and of all rooms, yours truly chose the one with the window facing the main road… u know the rest… then there is this creature, why I call him a creature you will find out shortly, this guy doesn’t sleep cos I wonder why every day he decides to terrorize the neighborhood with his preaching I mean, I don’t se anything wrong with preaching, but at 4.30 am, then there is a problem. So im sleeping when…
Mr. X (singing and I must say in a very terrible voice) – I thank u lord u are holy, and forever you are lord. HALLELUYAH!!!
Scarletboy: (scrambling to the window) WTF!!!!
Mr. X: Brethren, I have come once again, repent…
Scarletboy (diving under the pillows): ooh… here we go again…
Now you would think that after 2 or 3 weeks of this preaching one would get used to it, lie lie! I still jump up every time I hear the guy singing, gosh it scares the crap outa me sometimes. I wonder why the lords chosen decided to build their headquarters on this road also… but who am I to complain?
to be continued...
Saturday, January 23, 2010
its really been a while, and a lot has happened, first of all, i have missed blogging, like i wrote in my previous post, it seems as if i don't have it in me any more because i have the gist and all but i just cant bring myself to write, like my sister would say, i really have issues. Anyway, my final exams are supposed to start on the 8th of feb, and trust ur boy, im sooooooo not ready, u go fear 24 hour jacking and all... so in a way, that partially explains my absence from blogville, then there is also the case of MADAM whose becoming closer and closer. I just couldnt bring myself to breaking up with her and now, like the popular slang goes, "e don deh over me!!" i really need to get my head straight and then straighten my allready complicated life. then there is also the issue of my final year project, see me see trouble oh, my supervisor doesnt want to give me my data for my chapter 4 and without that im practically stuck, then my level of brokeness has reached an all time high (thank God for the free data card, whew!!) i have considered having my own version of a yard sale where i sell some of my books, clothes and (sob) my shoes, damn, just discovered i have a shoe fetish, seriously, no thanks to my older ones ho constantly bombaed me with em (damn you guys) so seriously im looking for someone to trade places with me right now, let me give u the description of who i want to be for just the weekend. A tall, dark handsome guy, who preferably works in an oil company, throws his dough round and has a good time, just for a weekend ehn baba God is that asking for too much?
Anyways, away from my whining, with feb 14 just 3 weeks away, the usual calls and reminders have started coming, madam ob the other hand is very quiet, guess she knows i have only her interest at heart (just said rubish, yeah it was intentional). so i was going through one old carton like that that hapens to hold my old books when a piece of paper fell out, now normally, i would have balled it and thrown it away, but the heading caught my eye it was "THINGS I HAVE TO DO BEFORE I DIE" now i remembered when i wrote this, it was in my ss1 in those dreary days in command secondary school Jos, yes the same Jos thats now a battleground, but thats another story. Now before i tell you what i wrote, let me explain, i had just discovered sex asin that was the rave of the time and the whole NACKSON AND BETTER LOVER with a whole array of porn mags and stuff so as u can expect my thots as a juve were influenced by these things... taking a deep breath... here goes
THINGS I MUST DO BEFORE I DIE
1. CLIMB A MOUNTAIN OR HILL OR SUMTIN
2. ENGAGE IN A THREESOME WITH TWINS
3. FIGHT A BULL
4. SKY DIVE
5. LEARN AN INSTRUMENT, MOST LIKELY THE VIOLIN
6. DATE A SUGAR MUMMY
7. LEARN KARATE
8. HAVE SEX IN THE CROWDED TOILET OF AN EATERY PREFERABLY MR. BIGGS
9. CHANGE MY NATIONALITY TO GHANIAN
10. GET "HEAD" FROM SOME RANDOM BROAD UNDER THE TABLE OF A CROWDED RESTURANT
11. FIND OUT IF THERE IS A WAY TO TRAVEL THROUGH TIME, AND IF SO EXPERIENCE IT
like i said i was pretty hooked up on the whole sex idea then only that now, we know better. anyways, i should find my mojo soon enough and then its gonna be story story...