Hmm… my life feels like a soap opera these days, right now I’m a mixture of anger, confusion and sadness. Let me let down my walls just this once, like they say, when you have a problem , one of the best ways of solving it is to get it off your chest by talking bout it…
Now I have a confession to make, I’ve never been a “ladies man” per se, in fact there was a time my dad thought I was gay cos I never had any female friends! I was and still am very much of a loner, keeping few friends and even sometimes when some people want to be friendly to me… best put like this, it takes a lot for me to actually be friends with someone, but once we are friends, there is no limit to the things I can do for you. I regard my friends that much! Anyway one of the few things I found out about myself as I was growing up was that while most of my friends and age mates found it very easy or natural to meet someone out of the blue and start chatting, collecting numbers and all, it was near impossible for me to do this. I can actually count the number of gals I’ve walked up to to say hi just for the fun of it. Now I also found out that I'm the kind of person that falls in love so easily, asin its really bad, so its no surprise that all break ups have left me devastated, asin u don’t want to see me after a breakup, no matter how short the duration of the relationship. Now why am I telling you guys this I wonder, frankly I don’t know… I just feel pissed with myself that I keep on falling in love with people that always end up hurting me. I have been hurts so many times that I feel I don’t know how I'm ever going to love someone again. I have been seeing this girl for the past month and the amount of SHIT I've had to put up with ehn, has left me with two choices, break up with her and get on with my life or, wait and see if she… well if she decides to behave herself. Now I really don’t even know why most times people ask too much from me, for God’s sake I'm a freeking human being! First it was the restriction on the level of intimacy for now till we’re fully grounded (whatever she means by that I don’t know, but make she remember say body no be wood oh!!), and I was like “ok, its going to be hard but I’ll try to keep my hands and lil’ scarlet boy to myself” then she always wants to be around me every single day every single free period even on Sundays, she insists I come join her fellowship and I'm like “o gal, dat one no just fit happen cos if there is anything I can toy with, never my religion” before you know it, you will be asking me to stop talking to my friends and stuff (gosh, I'm supposed to have a life too you know!!), then the worst part, she's soooo possessive!!! Gosh now I know what chris brown must have been going through, anyway we were only 1 week and trouble reared its ugly head. Now see me see trouble, she invited me to her fellowship on Sunday and normally I would have declined but in the name of “love” I obliged gosh had I known. First the service was supposed to start by 8.am and I was there by 8.15am, (abeg I no try), the person that invited me strolled in by past 10am, and then asked me to join her outside after I had secured a good seat! And I was like “hell no, we will see after service. Now please tell me, what did I do wrong? After service it became a tug of war ehn ok sorry for “abandoning you” na I’m the gal deh use me shine! Ok, my cool side took over oya sorry… I begged this gal till 7 pm. Before she gree, I no try? (two slaps for doing that, twai!!, twai!!)
Wednesday the next week was another thing all together, now I saw her at “main gate” (the campus main gate) and we exchanged pleasantries and all that and the…(deep breath), she told me about a party in Ekosodin (the students village behind school, note she didn’t invite me) and I was like ok, have fun. I called her like past 6 and she still didn’t say anything, ok see me trying to stuff some books in my head, when I get a call, this is past 8 and she’s like come over please I want to se you. Now for those of you that don’t know Unibend, ekosodin is the worst place in terms of security, it has the highest number of cult killings and robberies and to crown it all I’ve lost 3 friends in that hell hole. I find it difficult to go there in the day time talk less of at night, so I’m like “please I’m not sure I will be able to make it” and she’s like “this is a time to show that you really love me”( now due to some recent events I’ve become very paranoid, there are some things I cant no matter what you do or say do) so I was like “I’ll pass” and she was like “ok, I know what to do” and I was like (see me see wahala)“oh gal, do whatever you want to do oh!”. Now tell me, what did I do wrong? I thought she was the one forming Jackie Shan!!! Anyway I was sitting in my room watching Chelsea thrash Liverpool (go blues go!!) when I hear a knock on my door, I open and there stands O looking like I’ve killed her favorite dog, “come in ” I say and she’s like “I want to see you” and I’m like “ok”, so we step outside and she starts ranting like a real mad woman saying things like “I came here to shame you since you are too scared to come to ekosodin, I have come here” (na you know the evil spirit weh deh push you), “I’m 10 times of a man than you”(yeah right, try taking a piss standing straight), “I’m so disappointed in you, and you claimed to love me” (cos say I say I love you no mean say I go enter lions den for you ehn!) now don’t get me wrong, I like this gal die but, like my friend will say, love with your heart but at the same time don’t lock out your head. And so the insults kept on pouring and before you know it an hour had passed and when she was spent (trust me I know better than to trade words with a girl and one on her “period” at that) I saw her back to where she could take a bus home… gosh I miss the old me, the vicious, insultive, crazy lad, where is he (note to self, look for the old scarlet boy, he is greatly needed)
I’m tired, I miss the days when I was single and was responsible to nobody, when I could dress like an “madman” and to hell with everyone, when I could stop and clown around with any gal I happened to meet on the way and not feel as if I was cheating on someone, when I didn’t have to turn to a vampire because of free mid night calls, when I didn’t owe nobody any call, when… I’m just tired, I’ve been looking for a serious relationship for some time but now I’m in one it seems as if I’m not just ready for it and the thought of breaking someone’s heart really pains me…(though, reverse might be the case here) I’m as confused as a dog in a calabar mans kitchen…. Sha lets see how the remaining episodes play out in the series “the life and times of scarlet boy, season 4” in short I’m CONFUSED, TIRED AND SICK OF EVERYTHING!!! Gosh I want to be single again!!