Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Dstv and other matters arising...

My fellow citizens of bloggsville, I'm BACK!!! Sorry for my absence, twasnt my fault. Ok, let’s see… I was very sick for like two weeks (the doctor said malaria, I know its ‘OWU’ a.k.a. lack of cash) and ive been struggling to regain my health and stuff. Then the case of my project, I feel like crying anytime I think about it, I don’t seem to be making any headway in mine, I'm still suck in chapter one, its as if whenever I want to type or work on it I loose all my inspiration In short, I run out of ideas.

Before I continue, I want to get something off my chest. I recently got re-acquainted with facebook while on my sick bed (well… there was nothing better to do). Frankly, I’ve never seen what the big deal is about this website, ok you can connect with your long lost friends and classmates and stuff and find out what they are up to, but to be honest facebook has become a nuisance! It’s no surprise to see a (taking unibend as an example) student on facebook, even till 5 minutes to their exams and opera mini has made it so accessible to all as with 0.00 naira you can browse and sleep in facebook. Now talking about people’s status, this is supposed to like show or tell people what ur doing at the moment abi? (that’s why its called a status update, duh!!) but trust naija, some people’s status sometimes fill a whole page, seriously! Then there was the Michael Jackson week, I nearly ran mad!!! In short, I don’t want to talk about it, its upsetting enough that I’m a fan (always have been, always will be a fan of the king of pop, Michael Jackson) And then there is talk about irrelevant things and events in ur life that frankly should only be known to you, who wants to know that you just got laid or 3 people are dying for you and shit. We sometimes over do things, one guy went as far as going graphic on his status I mean….. don’t we know the meaning of PG13? To some people its funny, I for one don’t send such things but lets be honest with ourselves, something’s that we sometimes post on facebook are uncalled for.

(taking a deep breath…) and now for the order of the day, this past week has been one of sorts, I got 2 new phones (blushing) bringing my tally of working phones at my disposal to 6! Seriously, phone no deh gree spoil for my hand, so I retired my “old faithful” Motorola L7 and LG KP230 for a Nokia 5220 xpresmusic phone and Sony Ericsson W710i, hmm… then my dad after some pressure decided that he was tired of watching the sub-standard programs on naija telly and decided to persuade the powers that be for DSTV. Ok, finished the installation and stuff, see me running up and down like a mad man trying to activate this account, from Saturday till they answered me on Monday, it was either call back in 2 hours or we have done it , or the smart mouths telling me how to operate a decoder! Asin,

DSTV GUY: ok, Mr. scarlet boy, is this account yours?

SCARLETBOY: (see me se trouble…) yes its my account

DSTV GUY: are you sure the decoder is on?

SCARLETBOY: (see me see trouble, am I retarded now?) yes now its telling me error 105 (and I go on to read it out)

DSTV GUY: ok, change the channel to 209

SCARLETBOY: (taking a deep breath) it has been on this channel since Saturday!!!

DSTV GUY: ok, remove the smartcard, please be sure not to bend it or put it in water

SCARLETBOY: (chei, I don die) Mr. Operator or customer service..

DSTV GUY : the name is James

SCARLETBOY : (with your voice like Scooby doo) Ok, James am I a kid that will bend the smartcard or do you think this is the first time I have seen a decoder or I'm sure ur thinking that this is like the 9th wonder of the world abi?

DSTV GUY : I didn’t mean that, one cant be too careful…

SCARLETBOY : (raising my voice) Or I tell you say na kitchen the decoder deh abi?

DSTV GUY : Ehm… I'm sorry for that statement

SCARLETBOY : MSCHEEEEEEEW, sorry for yourself you twit!

And in like 5 minutes the bloody decoder started working and I was like, is it until someone shouts and stuff before u guys act? Now trust my father, (from now on, Papa C) I had expected him to switch over to the winning side asin CNN and all but trust Papa C, lie lie, the man no gree at all, this guy na correct OLD SCHOOL!!! The first blow came only minutes after installation, Papa C said he wants to watch African magic, AFRICAN MAGIC!!!, ok, Papa C watch your home videos, by 8pm when I was gearing to watch MTV or a movie, my guy say I'm wan watch AIT news and I was like no problem Papa C, watch it on normal T.V, for where, the man said he wants to watch it on DSTV, see me se wahala…

SCARLETBOY: But Papa C, we have AIT on normal T.V,

Papa C: ehn, I know but that one makes my eyes pain me

SCARLETBOY: (ooh… na now u know say ur eye deh pain u abi, since when you deh watch this AIT, your eye no deh pain you abi?) ok Papa C, watch your AIT.

From AIT to NTA to CHANNELS, this man was watching all the local stations on DSTV and was even about to watch another home movie that they were showing on one of the local stations when I reminded him that come oh, u said you were tired of watching local stations abi, why are you still watching them on DSTV? And do you know how annoying it is for the whole house to watch what you are watching!!! But still he’s my Pa, and I love him so so much. Anyway, In my haste to get back home, I forgot my zoom data card in school, and now I have to settle for one cyber cafĂ© down the road that has a very rude punk ass as its operator. And, since ASUU has decided to be ASUU, I'm stuck here for a while…

Until I come your away some time very soon, I remain yours sincerely Scarlet boy wishing you a blessed and fun filled week.