Thursday, February 26, 2009


I have been trying to do some writing since when I resumed school but a lot of things have kept me from doing anything meaningful on my pc. So forgive me if this piece is a bit hurried or I rant a bit.

A lot of things have happened since I resumed on the 14th I ended up hurting the person I spoke of pretty bad, so bad she isn’t talking to me again (believe me I tried to avoid it but it just happened), my lecturers are at longer heads and they are taking it out on the students which include yours truly, my result for my third year came out and…… (Clearing my throat) it was ok……. (ok seriously, it was just there in terms of grades but was my best in terms of preparation and all, asin I really put my all but like I said earlier, my lecturers have a mind of their own, anyway “God pass them”) for the past week I’ve been my lecture schedule has been very irregular, though other things have kept me busy… like tracking fresher’s A.K.A jambites and doing the final year swagger…

My classmates are being my classmates… again!!! of all the courses i had to choose it had to be eco stat in unibend and why God why did you put me in a class filled up with people that have yhis poverty mentality asin they are not poor oh but they think like carpenters and not semi graduates Istill cant imagine why we cant for once act like final year students ehn see me see trouble, a class of over 150 students cannot join heads and plan what’s going to happen or if we are even going to have a final year week I mean what the f**k is wrong with these “odekus” imagine someone suggested we have a crusade, can you imagine!! Well some of the “soji” people in my class (myself inclusive) have decided to take matters into our own hands. We have decided to have our own final year week and to spite our dense classmates we are going to print flyers, make it strictly by invitation and for the grand finale put the pictures on the department’s notice board. I know it may sound a bit childish but we feel it needs to be done. Wish us luck

Saturday, February 7, 2009

And So It Begins...

FINALY, school is resuming officially on Monday, and the sad parts that I’m not ready. It’s as if the global financial crisis is residing in my pocket. All my sources of income are blocked. Even the people I thought were never going to be broke are in the red. My dad is whining, my elder ones are claiming that they are also broke but can manage to afford to take their chicks to Ghana and obudu for Val’s day (Na God go show una!!! Thank God for free wireless though)

Thankfully, I’m going back on valentines day (yep I have to save costs and be sharp men…) and I’m going to lay low for the time being, u know avoid the leeches and ball breakers who feel that because I happen to live in Lagos and in a mid class estate (una forget say na my papa house and no be me buy am!), I’m supposed to breathe out money or those that assume my dad (who is retired by the way) is a consultant to all the oil companies.

I’ve been receiving calls from some annoying girls who only remember you exist in times like this (Val’s day, resumption, their birthdays…) and are already asking me when I’m resuming so they can come and collect the goodies from Lagos! Someone called me yesterday…


Scarletboy: Hello, who is this?

Madam: hmm… how far, so u don’t have my number again hen!

Scarletboy: (see me see trouble, when you no deh call nko!) aah no oh it’s not like that, ehm you see my I changed my phone cos it was giving me some trou..

Madam: (interrupting) ha, big boy! So you have changed your phone.

Scarletboy: (wondering why I had to use that lame lie) yes it’s a noki..

Madam: so when are you resuming, hope it’s before the 14th cos Ur my Val oh!

Scarletboy:(haa, see me see trouble) ehem, what about jimoh (not real name)

Madam(hissing) forget about that fake boy jo, he has been whining about no money and stuff, in short I’m going to dump him when we resume

Scarletboy: it’s the same everywhere oh, I’m also broke

Madam: aah, you self

Scarletboy: serious oh, I’m not even sure that I’m coming to school this year. I’m thinking maybe music since everyone’s making it these days

Maddam:so you self you are also saying this ehn, I’m practically giving myself to you on vals day and your telling me this

(Now pause, for you to understand this, I have to explain one or two things, first I liked her in our 100level when I was still young and innocent but she preferred a guy in final year, secondly she wasn’t as fine as before  and finally she still thought I had feelings for he, she was so wrong)

Scarletboy: (throwing all caution to the wind) come, come, come!!!! What is your problem? why are you telling me this now, why are you bugging me and just being a nuisance? why is it that it’s when you need something from me that you remember I exist. Look if its cos of this you called me just hang up.

And after a long pause, she did.


 See me see trouble ehn, this is not the first call I’ve received this week, and none of these gals are not my girlfriends nor friends with benefits if u get my gist, for those of you who don’t a friend with benefits according to my very good friend J is someone with which you enjoy a symbiotic or mutual thingy. Now it can be that she’s brilliant and can put u through some things or she’s a “cheerful giver” and is ehem… generous with some assets or something but sha there has to be something in return. So if I decide to be a nice guy and feed someone on Val’s day, I will now become a mugu or maga or in their mind they have played a fast one on me TUFIAKWA!!!

Now I’m not stingy, in fact I’m very generous and I’m not nasty, but some people just like bringing out the side I’ve tried so hard to suppress!!! I have to change my strategy in this final year…. Abeg all you leeches stop bugging me



My iPod is back from the dead, I just decided to put it on and it came on. I’ve been using it for like a week now and so far so good… maybe my prayers have started working, thank you GOD!!!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Religious Matters

Just finished a 30 day compulsory fasting and prayer marathon initiated by the pastor of my church. If you see me ehn!! I look like one lanky scarecrow with a very big head!! I have really lost a lot of weight!! As in the small flesh I managed to add by doing mogbomoya (well I ain't Yoruba so sue me!!) in people’s houses and parties… need I go on!
Now, my dad happens to be an elder in my church and you can bet your life that if there are 7 Sundays in a week, you will see him in church on 8. He is always on my case! Just yesterday (Thursday), he was nearly calling me an atheist! See me see trouble, did someone tell him that I’m training to be a pastor or something? Or since when did church become compulsory? Is there a part of the Nigerian constitution that states that I must go to church everyday? Now don’t get me wrong, I love God. I can’t even start telling you guys, because I don’t have the words to express what I feel for him. But I love doing things when I’m led. I don’t like attending church because my dad said so or because of this or that I do so because I have the urge to do so. Abi na by going to church na im pesin deh enter heaven? I have seen things in my church enough to test my faith, but I keep telling myself that I worship God and not man. And my church doesn’t help matters, they bring some very dry people to preach, conduct and do stuff and it’s a wonder how I manage to stay awake throughout, though I always manage to head in a modest amount of goals sha. So I’m surprised that I didn’t loose it yesterday (because to be frank I’ve always had a temper and it sort of runs in the family), I had to hold myself to not say anything because if I did it would have been a different story. The case is not the same with another of my friends who isn’t speaking to his dad because of this same issue, they nearly got physical!! So the fasting and prayer that is supposed to help bring people together in the spirit has ended up causing more harm than good. So please someone should help me tell my dad oh, because like a popular saying goes, “you can force a horse to a stream but not to drink the water”. You can end up forcing me to church, but that doesn’t mean I will gain anything or even listen to what’s going on!
On a lighter note, I watched in shock last week when I saw that the men of the Nigerian police force had suddenly run out of people to arrest and had started arresting animals. A robber was said to have changed to a GOAT!! It didn’t stop there; they had the balls to parade the goat to journalists telling them this absurd story. I would have forgotten about this had my uncle from Japan not called to ask me if it was true, I have been fielding calls from friends abroad asking if its what they hear about the goat is true. See me see trouble, am I the minister of information, the last time I checked, I wasn’t, but the sad thing is that its everywhere, on bbc, cnn, saharereporters the list is endless. I heard the goats being auctioned for =N= 300 or $2. Maybe someone who knows how to reverse people who change to animals will buy it sorry him since we are talking about a person who temporarily happens to be a goat. Kudos to the Nigerian police and our newest celebrity… the Goat from Ilorin (who happens to be my new wallpaper, screen saver…)

I’m going to hurt someone soon, I have tried and tried to avoid this, but it seams as if this is inevitable. I’m dreading the whole idea but like my friend sonny will say, you can like someone but there is no guarantee that the person will like you back the same way.
Sad but true