the lost mojo

Ok ok.... I know I promised I was gonna be back soon, sorry I took this long, really don't have any excuse I just lost my writing/blogging mojo that's all, till trying to find it but in a place like akure where nothing happens.......
So I'm currently out of work now, yeah, one wonders how a corps member will be out of a job, I also wonder myself, my boss has been a real pain in the ass, I mean there have been times I just look at him and imagine pushing him out of the office window or putting poison in his tea, the guys just arrrrrrrrrrrh!!!!!!! And after 6 months of pushing me around, the final straw that broke my back came in the form of the ongoing election. Now as you all know, corps members are supposed to serve as electoral officers, I expected my boss to know, hell he claims to be a politician and all so it shouldn't come as news to him, lo and behold wen I told this man I was to leave the next day for inec training, the dude asked me to choose between my job and the inec ish, I mean weighing 5000 naira a month working for that ingrate and 35000 in 3 days working as an electoral officer, u rily don't ave to ask for my choice, I so ditched his ffice, makes me wish I brought some spray paint to spray the doors or something, mschew! Like I said earlier I've lost my mojo and hope to get it back soon, until then its urs truly scarletboy!

pre camp, camp and post camp...

Camp was a blast... Sorry, where are my manners, hello blogville its been a while and I know I have been a little short on my stories but tym hasn't been on my side and I've had a lot on my plate but I will try brief u guys.
Lemme c, camp, camp, camp... For all u guys that haven't experienced it, let me let you know now... Camp is over rated... That's the best way to sum everything... Just try and make as many friends of the same sex as possible not look for the nearest thing with boobies cos u'll ave plenty tym to look for em during cds and all. Neways my "strong spirit" had to live up to its name ,d trust it nah... It attracted one married woman, asin, no be small matter ooh... " Where are you", "come and meet me in so so so place", "come let me buy food for you"... U trust me nah... I turned "stealth mode" c as I became scarce... Dodging in the mammy market, dodging on the parade ground... Dodging right inside my hostel... I even to tell her to free me, but trust her nah... She no gree, professing her undying love to me (forgetting she has a husband and all) I was sooo glad when camp ended and she had to relocate back to meet her husband cos she was even planning to stay with me in ondo state!
On getting my posting letter, I saw that I had been posted to a group of schools and received the news with mixed feelings, on one hand I was sad that I didn't get a bank and on the other hand I was happy that at least I would have some tym for myself and all... For where, the "group of schools" turned out to be a room with 3 desks, yep, will say it again, a room with 3 desks!! Had to beg the lady there to reject me for where, she went on and on about her vision and mission and how God called her to be an educationist and so on and so on... And that she can't reject me... C me c wahala... Madam u are operating a mushroom school from a room in your house with 3 desks and you are expecting me ami, scarlet boy a graduate of economics and statistics to teach a bunch of primary school kids??? I mean!! So, I had to report at the council and though the matter is still ongoing, I'm optimistic... Then I lost my blackberry yesterday... Not to worry, its with me... I forgot it in a taxi (not empty by the way) and after calling him and getting drenched and standing for 3 hours I got my precious blackberry!!!!! And the best thing is that the guy refused to collect a dime! Thank God they are still some good people left in Nigeria. Neways that's what's been happening to me since camp... But gist boku no be small... But like I say... All in due tym...

Yeah, its been a while since my last post... well you cant rily blame me... i just discovered twitter and blackberry messenger... so as u can expect my minds not rily into blogging again... dont know why but i feel tired whenever i want to type on a pc and the endless pings keep me awake till 2/3am sometimes so u can say my lifes revolving round my bb now... the endless pings are driving my sister crazy and she has vowed to "misplace" the fone... i just think she's jealous... so i turn twenty something on the 18th and as usual, im not looking forward to it cos... im suposed to spend it on the road thanks to an organization called nysc that decided to share our call up letters the following day... anyways contrary to last year when i had little to celebrate, i have reasons to be happy... im now a graduate, my social lifes been organized and its as if the big guy above has answered my prayers cos aside the odd call at night from "hidden numbers" my "strong spirit" has been subdued... although im yet to find that special someone, i know deep down that shes around the corner... i have that gut feeling that someone is on the way... i just know it... so im praying to God for another year of divine health, favour, grace and all... and i know in that he's going to do it in his own special way...
On the nysc matter sef... i wake up at night and pray to God that i dont get posted to one no mans land... cos my friends that are serving in some remote places ehn... well lets say their stories are not that encouraging... so Baba God, if you are reading this... please do well for me ooh... cos i dont want to be posted to a boko haram/religious crisis/ kidnapping state, i just want a nice cool place, and posting preferably in a bank or company where i can be retained and not in a school, before my strong spirit re emerges and the female students..... lets just say im not a big "r kelly" fan if u get my drift...
back to the strong spirit issue, like two weeks ago, was at tfc with a friend (well in my broke state, friends do all the taking out now, and my friend was a guy) when i noticed this gal cutting eye for me... i pretend i dont see her till my friend notices and nudges me
scarletboy: werin nah
friend: see that fine gal deh look u nah...
scarletboy: abeg, u sure say no be u, u no see as i deh dressed
(and for a while in a way of subduing my "strong spirit" ive been in a state of disarray asin, stoped shaving but trim the edges, wear a lot of pam slippers sha u get my drift... while my friend was dressed to kill....)
friend: i deh tell u say na u she deh look
scarletboy: well na she sabi
we chilled for some time till my friend excused himself cos he saw a gal that he was tracking... next thing u know this fine gal takes my friends seat
gal: ehm... hello...
scarletboy: hi, whats good?
gal: my names sandra, u?
scarletboy: scarletboy, nice to meet u sandra, what can i d for u?
gal: (blushing)... nothing at the moment... ehm... please dont get this the wrong way... i have been staring at you since you walked in and honestly i dont know why, i just feel like somethings pushing me to want to know you better, please, ive never done this and frankly now ive said whats on my mind i feel sorta foolish... look u dont have to say anything i see u ave a blackberry (picking up my phone) let me drop my pin and phone number... hope to hear from u soon (standing up)... rily hope to hear from u soon...
omo... after two days of chatting with her, ive managed to push her to the friends zone, that is after i found out shes just 16... so i told her the only reasonable thing... call me when ur 18 babe...

I No Want Again!!!!!!

Dear God,
I know its been a while since we last talked and all and I wish I could think of a reason why I refused to stay in touch but doing that would just amount to excuses so I want to say im sorry and I will try to do better.
I know there was a time my dad A.K.A Papa C thought I was gay and even I had my doubts about my sexuality cos I just seemed to roll with guys and never with girls and so I came to you in prayer and asked that you create a change in my life and sorta make me get over my girlifobia or just make girls talk to me, notice me and stuff so we might at least have a civil conversation or just get over my whole shyness issue (yeah… that was a while back). But Gog, u see…….. I have come again, not like the proverbial oliver twist looking for more but to complain cos thete is a problem, now don’t get me wrong, I thank you for answering my prayer (which when I think of it, was kinda lame in the first place) but like psalm 23 v….. the part that says something about a cup running over…… will find the exact verse, yes, my cup now runs over, I now need a tanker to contain the spill over. It was ok or even cool when a total stranger walked up to me and we just started chatting, now this almost seems to happen everywhere I go, markets, school, church, when I use the bus, just name it. Now it has extended to girls asking me out, now while I don’t frown on the idea of a chic asking me out (I think its real sexy) and while I also think the tables should be reversed once in a while u know and before I sound over dramatic like my sister in-law, its happened over 20 times this year alone, I think I get hit on by girls more than the way an average girl gets hit on by guys, now its scary because now married women, cousins, friends girlfriends for no reason find me attractive enough to want to have something with (trust me, I know im not, contrary to what some people think, the face that stares at me outa the mirror isn’t and im sticking with my mirror). Now, while I thought this was just… I don’t know… normal??! I got the scare of my life when I went to fill my teeth sometime this year and the cashier (who claimed to be very spiritual and almost went into the seminary to become a priest) loked at me and said my spirit is very strong and that he’s very sure that its girls that follow you and not the other way around (cue: dumb silence) he further went on to call me oga, master etc… now if it was in my room, no problem, but imagine telling you this in a crowded payment room in a general hospital… now you get the picture.
Now that ive stated my case gear God, I want you to please let this cup pass over me, I know it was cool back when uni chicks were all on my case but now I have some peoples mothers/wives, cousins, friends chicks and even some under aged minors like one 14 year old gal that called me up 2 weeks ago, I’ve changed my number to no avail, they always seem to get my number no matter what I do. I thought it was my soap (irish springs) and changed it to dettol to no avail, I thought it was my body lotion (nivea) and changed it to Vaseline still to no avail… so im please asking that this blessing please pass to other areas of my life like my finances, favour in the labour market but please put a cap like BP put a cap on the oil well in the gulf of new mexico on this blessing, weaken my strong spirit before I do something desperate like go to T.B Joshua for deliverance or something and maybe you could divert this blessing to some people I know, u know the contents of my heart so you know who im talking about so I don’t need to name names….
Thank you for answered prayers, yours faithfully,
Scarletboy

Ouch!!

Time: 7:00, Location: CSSJ.

I was back in ss2 in the mighty, it was a Tuesday morning and while other students were getting ready for classes and all, u trust me now… I was there gisting with other students when suddenly the bell went for breakfast and there was pandemonium the next thing I know I was looking for how to iron my uniform but the damn iron was seriously messing up, either the cord was too short or there was something wrong with the surface I wanted to iron on. While I was thinking of what to do the next thing I heard was the voice of Mrs. Awe and Mr. Sunday (of blessed memory) counting down from 10 for everybody to leave the hostel, so see me with soap suds and all on my head and but ass naked running round the dorm trying desperately to avoid these two terrors (I don’t know why these two people scared the hell outa me back then and still do till this very day) the next thing I see feel a presence behind me as I’m hiding behind a really big wooden locker, someone grabs me and… I wake up in a cold sweat! My heard beating like I had been running for ages and for the next 20 minutes I had to convince myself that I wasn’t still in secondary school, I mean it was so bad that I still smelt the soap suds and had to repeatedly check if there really was soap on my head!

I have played that fateful day over and over again in my head and I don’t know why I have goose bumps whenever I think of it or other horrible experiences (cold shudder) anyway, things haven’t been that great and as hard as I want to write something nice, rosy or cheerful, doing that will be a lie cos of the way I feel.

Now if you’ve followed this blog by now you should know that I’m not the most optimistic person in the world and all but if I knew that life after school would be like this ehn… let me keep that thought to myself. So I’m halfway out of school, I say halfway because although I’ve seen my final results (I aced them by the way) I’m yet to do my clearance. Why you might ask me? Well… my department in their inept way didn’t send some of our names to the screening committee on time and that in turn led to the clearance of some of my classmates while the others (which I happen to fall under as usual) are still waiting for our screening certificates before we can now proceed for clearance (sigh) and service has been shifted till November for the whole department, I mean, by all logical means, if one finishes exams in February or early march why cant he/she serve in July like all other sane departments? Anyway, back to me, so I have all this time on my hand and im like, ok, look at the bright side, use the spare time to do something in NIIT, but im stuck in Benin till I finish my clearance I mean, this schooldoes not want to let me go oh, see me, see trouble! So to while away time too I decided to get a job and show papa c that I’m responsible and all and all the places ive gone to so far have been discouraging, I mean, why would some people who have respectable firms and all offer a graduate N15,000 a month or N20,000 for marketing? I work my ass off getting customers or telling the public about ur products and I get a lousy N20,000? I mean lets be fair. So I’ve decided to remain at home till I get an offer that doesn’t make me feel like im an illiterate! Abi what do u think?

On a final note, good luck to the super chickens, sorry eagles in south Africa, hope they bring back the cup (ROTFLMAO)

ciao

Going Poetic.....

One of my friends posted this note on facebook and I just had to share it via this blog... if u ask me for my opinion, it struck me as... let’s just say it got me thinking... when I will ever feel this way about someone (a girl that is...

MY IDEAL LOVE

I want a love like you thinking of me thinking of you thinking of me type of love

Or me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself about how I feel about you type of love

Or hating how jealous you are but loving how much you want me all to yourself type of love or seeing how good your first name sounds so good to my last name

I wanted to see how far I could go without calling or thinking about you and I barely made it out of my room

I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep and wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love or wondering who loves the other more, what’s she doing at this exact moment or slow dancing with her in the middle of my room to the music of our hearts closing my eyes and imagining how love is cos it hurts when she's not there.

I want to place all those little post-it notes all around my room so she doesn’t need to guess how much I love her

and just like in secondary school, I want to spend hours on the phone not saying a word, fall asleep and see her right next to me, feel her soft smooth silky body, feel at peace whenever she’s with me cos that’s the effect she has on me

I wanna count how many ways I love her then loose count halfway and have to start all over again type of love,

I want to celebrate one of those one month anniversaries, even if they really aren’t anniversaries but just do it

I wanna fall in the ring tone my phone plays when she calls and talk to her till I loose my breath cos she leaves me breathless expending my lungs then I inhale all of her back into me

I want a love that makes me need to change my gsm caller plan to something that allows me talk longer to her cos in all honesty 24 hours isn’t enough to tell her how much I love her, even if God extends the days to 50 hours, it wont still be enough to let her know how I feel about her.

I want a love that makes me stu stu stu stu stutter just thinking about how strong this love is type of love and

I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair as a symbol of how I feel about her type of love
I want a love that makes me want to cross a busy road, hit hit by a bus, loose my memory, get transported to another state or country, maybe up north, just to get treated and someday meet up again with her so I can fall in love with her again in a different language and see whether it still feels the same type of love and

I want a love that is unexplainable as she is and till I meet her…………………

Like I said earlier, its really deep, seriously, I wonder if someone will ever make me feel this way or better still, do people especially in Naija still feel this way? and frankly does this type of love still exist? Anyway, if you do find someone that makes you feel this way, don’t hesitate to tell me… maybe she’ll have a sister (lol)
Ciao…

Earth to Scarlet Boy... (part 1)

I know its been a while that I posted something on this blog… trust me it wasn’t totally my fault… but I will try and give a brief summary of what happened since my last post…
Ok, exams have come and gone with their usual stress, sleepless nights and migraines but like they say… I did my best and as thus can only hope for the best from my lecturers as per result and all, my department had their final year week (finally, see the pix ) before the exam that is and it went well, apart from the dinner which was largely marginalized and trust yours truly, I and a coupla friends decided to boycott the silly dinner and go clubbing which I must say made more sense, but that’s another story for another day, I (finally) submitted my project after much shakara from my supervisor, he approved it (after a little incentive from yours truly i.e, a bottle of vino), my land lady aka Bwehole (from her pronunciation of borehole, trust her benin tongue nah…) finally got me to leave her hostel. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I didn’t want to leave her hostel or that I was making trouble, she was just becoming impossible! And so lucky for me, I moved to Papa C’s crib in town lets call my new abode no 79 and was actually glad for a change in environment and style of living so I said goodbye to the communual life of my former hostel and took another step towards bachelorhood little did I know… first was the constant 6am wakeup call thanks to the noisy bikes in the area and of all rooms, yours truly chose the one with the window facing the main road… u know the rest… then there is this creature, why I call him a creature you will find out shortly, this guy doesn’t sleep cos I wonder why every day he decides to terrorize the neighborhood with his preaching I mean, I don’t se anything wrong with preaching, but at 4.30 am, then there is a problem. So im sleeping when…

Mr. X (singing and I must say in a very terrible voice) – I thank u lord u are holy, and forever you are lord. HALLELUYAH!!!

Scarletboy: (scrambling to the window) WTF!!!!

Mr. X: Brethren, I have come once again, repent…

Scarletboy (diving under the pillows): ooh… here we go again…

Now you would think that after 2 or 3 weeks of this preaching one would get used to it, lie lie! I still jump up every time I hear the guy singing, gosh it scares the crap outa me sometimes. I wonder why the lords chosen decided to build their headquarters on this road also… but who am I to complain?
to be continued...

Much Ado About Nothing

its really been a while, and a lot has happened, first of all, i have missed blogging, like i wrote in my previous post, it seems as if i don't have it in me any more because i have the gist and all but i just cant bring myself to write, like my sister would say, i really have issues. Anyway, my final exams are supposed to start on the 8th of feb, and trust ur boy, im sooooooo not ready, u go fear 24 hour jacking and all... so in a way, that partially explains my absence from blogville, then there is also the case of MADAM whose becoming closer and closer. I just couldnt bring myself to breaking up with her and now, like the popular slang goes, "e don deh over me!!" i really need to get my head straight and then straighten my allready complicated life. then there is also the issue of my final year project, see me see trouble oh, my supervisor doesnt want to give me my data for my chapter 4 and without that im practically stuck, then my level of brokeness has reached an all time high (thank God for the free data card, whew!!) i have considered having my own version of a yard sale where i sell some of my books, clothes and (sob) my shoes, damn, just discovered i have a shoe fetish, seriously, no thanks to my older ones ho constantly bombaed me with em (damn you guys) so seriously im looking for someone to trade places with me right now, let me give u the description of who i want to be for just the weekend. A tall, dark handsome guy, who preferably works in an oil company, throws his dough round and has a good time, just for a weekend ehn baba God is that asking for too much?

Anyways, away from my whining, with feb 14 just 3 weeks away, the usual calls and reminders have started coming, madam ob the other hand is very quiet, guess she knows i have only her interest at heart (just said rubish, yeah it was intentional). so i was going through one old carton like that that hapens to hold my old books when a piece of paper fell out, now normally, i would have balled it and thrown it away, but the heading caught my eye it was "THINGS I HAVE TO DO BEFORE I DIE" now i remembered when i wrote this, it was in my ss1 in those dreary days in command secondary school Jos, yes the same Jos thats now a battleground, but thats another story. Now before i tell you what i wrote, let me explain, i had just discovered sex asin that was the rave of the time and the whole NACKSON AND BETTER LOVER with a whole array of porn mags and stuff so as u can expect my thots as a juve were influenced by these things... taking a deep breath... here goes

THINGS I MUST DO BEFORE I DIE
1. CLIMB A MOUNTAIN OR HILL OR SUMTIN
2. ENGAGE IN A THREESOME WITH TWINS
3. FIGHT A BULL
4. SKY DIVE
5. LEARN AN INSTRUMENT, MOST LIKELY THE VIOLIN
6. DATE A SUGAR MUMMY
7. LEARN KARATE
8. HAVE SEX IN THE CROWDED TOILET OF AN EATERY PREFERABLY MR. BIGGS
9. CHANGE MY NATIONALITY TO GHANIAN
10. GET "HEAD" FROM SOME RANDOM BROAD UNDER THE TABLE OF A CROWDED RESTURANT
11. FIND OUT IF THERE IS A WAY TO TRAVEL THROUGH TIME, AND IF SO EXPERIENCE IT

like i said i was pretty hooked up on the whole sex idea then only that now, we know better. anyways, i should find my mojo soon enough and then its gonna be story story...

My last post for the year 2009

Gosh its been a while, a lot and I mean a lot has happened since my last post, let’s see… I’ve lost my urge to blog these days, its funny cos I start typing and halfway I just loose inspiration, don’t know why, my friends say its cos I have short attention span (whatever that means?). so im listening to something by t.i, and I just decided to type a rundown of 2009...

So I have finally made reasonable progress in my project (thank God) im in chapter 4 of 5, not bad for one months work… should have finished oh, but u know how it is now… I wish I had a sorta deadline… I long for the whip lashing days of secondary school, trust me, if I were still in secondary school ehn, I would have finished this project in less than a week! anyway i have promised myself that I must finish on or before the end of January. Before i get carried away, this is supposed to be a rundown of my year. 2009… was a year of events, I finally saw what it means firsthand to date a hot head/ unstable girl with a lot of issues/baggage, gosh, that’s one experience I don’t ever pray to have again, had a real test of friendship and… failed (sad but true), reached my all time record low financially and emotionally, (damn u global economic crisis) and my family passed through some difficulties but its good to say that at the end, we came out smiling, my academics have also been good, though I have some lecturers that have issues… sha that’s a story for another day, friends were made and lost, relationships were re established and/or severed all together, finally got over my X, nearly had an accident driving papa c's car (hey, was a mechanical thing, the brakes failed, u go fear drifting now...), still discovering my writing skills (yeah, i know it sucks, but im working on it, i need some serious inspiration...

So I have been making some resolutions and frankly, before I tell u, I want to take stock of the resolutions I made for this year

1. Start shaving - hmm… didn’t keep to that one, still have like 2 weeks growth ryt now.
2. Get serious with my studies – em…next…
3. Try and find true love again – im still trying to wangle my way out of a relationship right now
4. Get spiritual – hmm… failed In that aspect
5. Be a nicer person – really worked on that this year
6. Cut back on the video games – like I said earlier, no comment
7. Graduate with nothing less than a 2.1 – well, book no easy oh… lets wait and see, but im seriously working on it
8. Be more prudent – hehehe failed woefully in this aspect
9. Work on my physique - hmm… except una wan make I turn toothpick
10. Be more positive – funny enough, out of all my resolutions, this was one I kept

Resolutions for 2010

1. Value and appreciate my friends more
2. Still work on my grades
3. Work on my religious life
4. Be a better person
5. Spend less on credit
6. Take up a sport, im thinking basketball
7. Blog more
8. Be more open to people
9. Discharge any excess baggage in my life (people especially)
10. Watch how I drink, seriously, its getting outa hand
11. Be happy no matter what im going through

Hmm… hope i adhere to these resolutions, I plan to make others up as I go
on a final note, just when i thought this year couldnt be stranger (our being without a president for over a month) one punk ass decided to misbehave on xmas day, 2009 ehn, was a year of events but in everything i thank God for everything that happened. the good, the bad and the downright ugly (and i mean UGLY!!). im seriously looking forward to 2010, i hope, no, i know that its going to be full of drama, suspense and... lets just say that i know its going to be a great year!!!

Birthday blues...

Happy Birthday to me, Yes ME SCARLETBOY!!! Am gradually edging towards my mid 20’s now (damn, I feel old) asin… I can still remember those days… (a dreamy look in my eyes) anyway, that’s another story for another day, so, birthdays for me have always been fun but this year ehn… let’s just say that I DON’T advise anyone to spend their birthday alone cos e no just make sense at all, trust me I nearly went loco on Sunday, it was just me, a bottle of Teroldego Rotaliano (obviously taken from Papa C’s stash) and my thots and trust me that’s the worst combination on a day that’s supposed to be fun, the only person I expected stood me up asin who does that on ur birthday!? Well we deh see like that sha, the only good thing was that my friends that couldn’t be at my place decided to bombard my facebook page phone and mail with birthday wishes, gosh I felt sooooooo special especially when I read what people had to say about me in my mails and text messages… I was near tears (sniff).
I’ve finally decided to resume (school that is), guess im tired of staying at home (im surprised im actually admitting this!!)or cos im getting broke or could it be that… sha ive decided to go back to unibend and face my final semester. And on a final note, I want to thank God for allowing me add another year to my life, for my family and wonderful friends and lastly you guys reading this blog!
Ciao.

HOME ALONE...

So… Papa C decided it was time to renovate his house in b-side and as usual asked me to come along for the ride, and trust ur boy now… once bitten twice shame (the lagos experience), I quickly formed one excuse that I needed to round up some things in lag before resuming school (that’s if asuu extend their 2 weeks) and funny enough, my dad who is quick to see through such lies bought the idea. The truth is that I enjoy being alone at home, I get to do a lot of things I wouldn’t do normally when someone is in the house with me. Now before I start getting the sly looks and all please remove your mind from the gutter, when I’m alone at home I’m ALONE!! I get up when I want to, watch whatever I want to, I’m free, I can cook by 12am, sleep by 6am and get up by 5pm. I totally screw my system when I’m alone and not to mention the experiments I conduct, this time it was how to make pepper soup, yes pepper soup. Now among my many talents, trust me cooking is not one of em, and so to save myself the embarrassment of people throwing up and stuff when they eat my food, I first test anything new on myself and if it passes the test then trust me, it’s good for eating. So see me strolling to the market with a friend in tow got the other ingredients (meat, fish, turkey… u go fear concoction now…) and then went looking for the most important, the spices. So after spending 30 minutes looking for the shop I finally located the lady selling the spices. Ok, cooking time, I just poured the spices and waited for it to boil… you go fear severe purging 3 hours later now…

So my birthday comes up on Sunday (blushing) yeah I know, I’m getting older by the minute and I’ve started receiving calls from people who I haven’t heard from in eons asking me how the day will be, one asked me if I was going to throw a party and was even helpful in suggesting venues, I just tire!! Anyway let me get back to my British comedy (which I’m strangely addicted to thanks to BBC entertainment!) and laze around some more…

P.S

Any tips on how to dump someone without hurting her feelings too much? I really could use the advice right now.

I don tire...

Gosh, it’s been sooooo loooooooooong!!! Sorry, I have been sooooooo lazy, can you imagine, I’m too lazy to eat, sleep, hang out, and take a shower (just joking) in short ASUU has turned me to a zombie. Suffered a serious bout of depression some weeks ago, I was very sad, saw all my friends and supposed classmates in private uni’s inviting me for convocations and grad parties… well like they say, it’s not by who finishes first… but it was enough to really send me into one of my moods. (sigh…) anyway, it is well… so yours truly scarlet boy has been up to no good as usual, I haven’t touched my project (too depressed to do that) and I seem to distance myself from everyone these days, I feel I’m gradually slipping into my anti-person mode, (sigh) to make matters worse, our president who by the way is the (wots the correct word…) most stupid person ever elected into public office in this country (taking a deep breath) decided in his wisdom to go to Saudi and open a university when the ones in his country are under lock and key!!!
In short I’m really depressed right now, would have been stuffing anything in my mouth right now (I eat a lot when I’m upset, strange how this never shows as my physique still remains the same) but I’m soooooooooo broke!!!
Anyway, enough of my whining, a lot of things have also happened oh…. Asin the gist plenty full ground!!! Don’t worry, I will post something juicy when I have the strength to sit up and type.
So I guess it’s just me, my new found girlfriend (my bed and her sister the pillow) and big brother Africa for now (which if I must say is by far the WORST big brother I have ever watched, its soooooooooo annoying and the housemates are so AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!) anyway, (taking a deep breath) I guess I’m not making any sense right now and will most likely delete this post when I am less depressed, but it just feels good writing/typing something even if its rubbish, so from yours truly scarlet boy its ciao
P.S
My birthday is coming up real soon, cant believe its my dad that reminded me, i actually thought i was born in november and not october as my dad was quick to point out (i don tire for uniHOUSE!!!) and on a final note, Love lives in strange places… just found that out…

Yeah... I SAID IT!!!

One thing about me is that i hardly get angry about things i see or hear, ive sorta developed a hard skin especialy when it comes to religious things cos like they say one mans meat is another ones poison, but a friend of mine told me about something a man of God did and it realy set me off, here goes

The man of God was giving a testimony about how God touched one brother to give him a car an all and after recieving the car told the brother to his face that though the lord instructed him (the brother) to donate his car that he would recieve it because of the lord but not drive it because it was beneath his standard. i was so pissedthat the man of God could actualy say this to the poor mans face and still tell his members in his church, was he expecting a standing ovation for doing a wonderful job? pardon my writing style and especialy my spellings, i havent been mad like this over something in a while and i may just be ranting but somehow i hope you get the message, this piece is my small observation on some things realy bugging me about our so called men of God, (gulp) enjoy...

He came in with a sirens blaring, guns locked and loaded and a trailer load of menacing looking mobile police men (mopol). Ordinarily, one would have thought that he was a dignitary or even a state governor judging the kind of cars he had in his convoy, a series of hummer H3 cars with him riding in the latest Mercedes jeep but alas, when the convoy finally stopped at the hall where the meeting was supposed to take place, out came a “man of God” (for obvious reasons I will not mention any ones name). Now one would have thought the man of god would at least appreciate his members/followers who braved the scorching sun to see him, for where, if you se the way our overzealous mopol were flogging with whips and pushing people away to make way for him as if they were a group of smelling bums, and the man of God seeing all this could not even caution his security aides but instead calmly walked inside the hall. I saw the video on my friend’s phone (he happened to be there to record it) and I was appalled! Why is it that the so called men of God whom are supposed to be the. A special fund was raised later on that semester to buy the same pastor a car, and I was like, why would I contribute my hard earned money towards buying a car for a pastor whose children (if he has any) will never suffer as long as the church is still in existence, who “jands like someone uses the toilet everyday”, why?
An article some time in a local newspaper described how a man of God had purchased a private jet amongst other things and questioned the rationale behind such a costly purchase and trust Nigerians, there was no name they didn’t call the columnist the next day, from the ant-Christ to a true born son of Satan! One member even gave a reason for the purchase, he said that it’s cheaper to use a private jet than to fly commercial, and since the “pastor” was always on the move, it was more of a necessity for him to have a private jet. Now I dont work at the airport, but everyone knows that it has and will always be more expensive to have a private plane compared to flying commercial, first of all you have to pay for the hangar that will house it, then pilots, engineers to service it constantly, the air hostesses, aviation fuel (which is freaking expensive), the airport authority to license the plane, landing fee at every airport you visit amongst other costs… compared to the cost of buying a first class ticket, I mean. An online aviation magazine e-how stated that the price of a good private jet would cost between $6 - $50 million, the cost of fuel for a four hour trip was from $30,000 apart from determining the size and flying range of the jet, other factors such as parking lot, landing fees, insurance, fueling, catering, crew and pilots are also identified as expensive necessities. E-How further revealed that aircraft management companies would require between $100000 to $200000 per year to take careof these needs depending on the size and usage of the jet.
Now in not victimizing or trying to paint these people black, I LOVE my God and try as much as possible to adhere to what the scripture says about how to live and all and seriously think some men of God are doing a really good Job but so many of them leave us asking a lot of questions than answers, and people always say “you don’t question a man of God” but I think the time has come for us to begin to ask questions, if I am a member of a fellowship or church and my pastor is living lavishly when I know his income is soley from the church and especialy if his status was not like this some time. why cant my pastor be called to answer on how he spends the finances of the churchJesus the son of God was very humble, the word christian sinply means christ like, so why dont these men of God emulate christ instead of terrorising their members with their fleet of expensive and constantly changing cars that most of them only see in movies... (taking a deep breath)

Now, I know religion is tied with sentiments, and most times people are often touchy when issues like this are brought up. If my history is correct, I remember the in middle ages, the monks and priests rose from being simple men of God to become worse than the kings and nobility in power, in terms of their level of corruption and materialism. But for once, lets set sentiments aside, be very rational and start asking questions because lets face it these are questions we are scared to voice out most times and frankly, it looks as if these men of God are now taking us for a ride, well… I SAID IT!!!!

Whats up with our so called super eagles??? i mean what the **** happened in abuja today?

Untitled...

Gosh, it’s been a week! First I had to go to the computer village in Ikeja, to get another laptop for my younger brother and one of the usual happened, I had just entered the market when someone walked up to me waved his “id card” so fast I swear it didn’t even see it, said he was a police man and that I should identify myself… (Now let’s pause here for a while let me say something, I heard on the radio that morning… I think it was on Brila 88.9fm that the new style these ritualists or kidnappers now get people is to either pose as EFCC officials and form carrying you away for questioning or knock you down with okada, form good Samaritan by offering to take you to the hospital or clinic only for you to disappear for good or for them to ask for ransom later, if you are lucky that is) and so when this scruffy looking man flashed his id card u trust scarlet boy’s paranoid meter went into overdrive
Policeman: I say stop and identify you!
Scarlet boy: (see me see wahala) yes can I help you?
Policeman: (flashing his “id” so fast all I see is a blur) I'm a police officer, what are you carrying in that bag
Scarlet boy: (laughing) Mr. Police officer, let me see your id card again
Policeman: (getting angry) you are demanding to see a policeman’s ID card?
Scarlet boy: (ah ah) Mr. Officer, I did not see your id card the first time, so is it a crime to see it? Look, if you don’t want to show me your id card, let me be on my way!
Policeman: (grabbing my shirt) oya lets go to the station
Scarlet boy: (ha na today? removing his hand) why are you holding me like a thief? Come on remove your filthy hands from my shirt, do you know how much this shirt cost? (not much believe me) ok, Mr. officer, let’s go, in fact I see a police station right ahead
Policeman: (swearing under his breath) you comot my hand, YOU COMOT POLICEOFFICER HAND!!! u say you wan see my id card, you go see am inside cell today
Scarlet boy: (shouting) you think I don’t know my rights…
We get to the police station
Policeman: (to the policewonan behind the counter) imagine this small boy deh ask make I'm see my id card!
Policewoman: ehn, where in deh! Make I'm enter cell first
Scarlet boy: (looking alarmed) on what grounds? officers, it hasn't come to that…
Policeman: Shut up! Oya shey you wan see my id card? (thrusting it in front of my face) see am!
And he goes to show me one laminated and very faded id card that even an agbero can make and use to denge pose
Scarlet boy: ok, corporal Henry, how can I help you?
Policeman: (clapping his hands) Ehen, oyibo you wan show me say na only you go school abi? Oya wetin you carry for that bag?
Scarlet boy: oh, it’s a laptop computer
Policeman: na your own?
Scarlet boy: yes Mr. officer
Policeman: oya, your id card and proof of ownership
(I hand him my driver’s license and laptop receipt)
Policeman: na wetin make you deh disrespect me for outside abi? because you deh unibend I sure say na because of people like una dem deh strike, I short make you enter cell small jare
Scarlet boy: (discarding his dictionary) wetin I do, na so una deh put people for cell?
Policeman: my friend, obey before complain
Scarlet boy: I resemble zombie?
Policeman: ok, you deh resist arrest abi?
Scarlet boy: no but I'm not entering your cell until you tell me what I’ve done!
Senior police officer (DPO): what’s all the noise here for (looking at me) you again?
Now before you guys have a wrong impression, let me explain. I had been arrested on two previous occasions at the computer village for being in possession of computers without receipts, trust me it’s not my fault, my people in obodo keep on sending me things without receipts, I'm suspecting they… anyway, the last time was serious, I was actually taken to the station and would have been locked up if not the timely intervention of my older bro who happened to know this particular DPO and so after plenty apologies and promises, I was let go and had a police escort for the day just in case…
DPO: what is it again?
Policeman (saluting) ha oga you know am?
DPO: yes, he’s my friends younger brother (turning to me) so what happened, what are you doing here?
And I go on to narrate everything that happened much to the dismay of the police officer who has been stealing glances and cutting eye for me
DPO: Henry, is this correct?
Policeman: no oh, oga na lie…
Scarlet boy: (totally enjoying this) oya Henry tell am wetin happen?
DPO: I don’t even want to hear it! (turning to me) sorry, don’t mind this inept oaf (ok, I added the last two words) abeg go about your business and you can be sure I will deal with him, so how is your brother…
And that’s how once again, this DPO saved me from the hyenas under him, omo, it’s good to know people oh!Anyway, Papa C being Papa C decided as he sometimes does to change the look and feel of the house (cheers), I mean, some of the stuff he was changing were older than me (just joking) but seriously, the house needed it and so out went the chairs, gen, curtains… and trust Papa C, he took his preferred role when we do such things at home “the general supervisor”. As for my younger bro, he got a heads up from my elder sister about my dad’s plans and ran to my brothers place in Lekki leaving me with Papa C! Ok, Papa C what color should the chairs take? And Papa C was like “I don’t know, you people should decide” this meant sending pictures of the cloth samples to all the members of my family and waiting for them to voice their comments, so we finally chose one, only for Papa C to choose another and give the guy making the chairs and I was like “Papa C why did you make me go through all this stress if you had one in mind” You just hear what Papa C said? “I just wanted to hear your opinion, after all I'm the one paying for it and in fact you people don’t even have style, imagine having chairs of that color and pattern in MY living room, I would have thought that with all the training and exposure… ” trust Papa C he went on and on… Ha my life!

Im Still Here!!!

Gosh how time flies... its now abouy 2 months since asuu decided to go on strike and sad to say i cant even remember what i did last semester. I had thought that i would be able to read and all during the "holls" but i see myself getting lazier by the minute.
I have finished my chapter 1 of my project (cheering and hi 5's all around) and hopefully plan to finish my chapter 2 before the end of this month. im still yet to write something intresting... but soon, when i re-charge and upgrade my brain from its hibernation, i will definately post something intresting. So from me its ciao.
Ciao

Dstv and other matters arising...

My fellow citizens of bloggsville, I'm BACK!!! Sorry for my absence, twasnt my fault. Ok, let’s see… I was very sick for like two weeks (the doctor said malaria, I know its ‘OWU’ a.k.a. lack of cash) and ive been struggling to regain my health and stuff. Then the case of my project, I feel like crying anytime I think about it, I don’t seem to be making any headway in mine, I'm still suck in chapter one, its as if whenever I want to type or work on it I loose all my inspiration In short, I run out of ideas.

Before I continue, I want to get something off my chest. I recently got re-acquainted with facebook while on my sick bed (well… there was nothing better to do). Frankly, I’ve never seen what the big deal is about this website, ok you can connect with your long lost friends and classmates and stuff and find out what they are up to, but to be honest facebook has become a nuisance! It’s no surprise to see a (taking unibend as an example) student on facebook, even till 5 minutes to their exams and opera mini has made it so accessible to all as with 0.00 naira you can browse and sleep in facebook. Now talking about people’s status, this is supposed to like show or tell people what ur doing at the moment abi? (that’s why its called a status update, duh!!) but trust naija, some people’s status sometimes fill a whole page, seriously! Then there was the Michael Jackson week, I nearly ran mad!!! In short, I don’t want to talk about it, its upsetting enough that I’m a fan (always have been, always will be a fan of the king of pop, Michael Jackson) And then there is talk about irrelevant things and events in ur life that frankly should only be known to you, who wants to know that you just got laid or 3 people are dying for you and shit. We sometimes over do things, one guy went as far as going graphic on his status I mean….. don’t we know the meaning of PG13? To some people its funny, I for one don’t send such things but lets be honest with ourselves, something’s that we sometimes post on facebook are uncalled for.

(taking a deep breath…) and now for the order of the day, this past week has been one of sorts, I got 2 new phones (blushing) bringing my tally of working phones at my disposal to 6! Seriously, phone no deh gree spoil for my hand, so I retired my “old faithful” Motorola L7 and LG KP230 for a Nokia 5220 xpresmusic phone and Sony Ericsson W710i, hmm… then my dad after some pressure decided that he was tired of watching the sub-standard programs on naija telly and decided to persuade the powers that be for DSTV. Ok, finished the installation and stuff, see me running up and down like a mad man trying to activate this account, from Saturday till they answered me on Monday, it was either call back in 2 hours or we have done it , or the smart mouths telling me how to operate a decoder! Asin,

DSTV GUY: ok, Mr. scarlet boy, is this account yours?

SCARLETBOY: (see me se trouble…) yes its my account

DSTV GUY: are you sure the decoder is on?

SCARLETBOY: (see me see trouble, am I retarded now?) yes now its telling me error 105 (and I go on to read it out)

DSTV GUY: ok, change the channel to 209

SCARLETBOY: (taking a deep breath) it has been on this channel since Saturday!!!

DSTV GUY: ok, remove the smartcard, please be sure not to bend it or put it in water

SCARLETBOY: (chei, I don die) Mr. Operator or customer service..

DSTV GUY : the name is James

SCARLETBOY : (with your voice like Scooby doo) Ok, James am I a kid that will bend the smartcard or do you think this is the first time I have seen a decoder or I'm sure ur thinking that this is like the 9^th wonder of the world abi?

DSTV GUY : I didn’t mean that, one cant be too careful…

SCARLETBOY : (raising my voice) Or I tell you say na kitchen the decoder deh abi?

DSTV GUY : Ehm… I'm sorry for that statement

SCARLETBOY : MSCHEEEEEEEW, sorry for yourself you twit!

And in like 5 minutes the bloody decoder started working and I was like, is it until someone shouts and stuff before u guys act? Now trust my father, (from now on, Papa C) I had expected him to switch over to the winning side asin CNN and all but trust Papa C, lie lie, the man no gree at all, this guy na correct OLD SCHOOL!!! The first blow came only minutes after installation, Papa C said he wants to watch African magic, AFRICAN MAGIC!!!, ok, Papa C watch your home videos, by 8pm when I was gearing to watch MTV or a movie, my guy say I'm wan watch AIT news and I was like no problem Papa C, watch it on normal T.V, for where, the man said he wants to watch it on DSTV, see me se wahala…

SCARLETBOY: But Papa C, we have AIT on normal T.V,

Papa C: ehn, I know but that one makes my eyes pain me

SCARLETBOY: (ooh… na now u know say ur eye deh pain u abi, since when you deh watch this AIT, your eye no deh pain you abi?) ok Papa C, watch your AIT.

From AIT to NTA to CHANNELS, this man was watching all the local stations on DSTV and was even about to watch another home movie that they were showing on one of the local stations when I reminded him that come oh, u said you were tired of watching local stations abi, why are you still watching them on DSTV? And do you know how annoying it is for the whole house to watch what you are watching!!! But still he’s my Pa, and I love him so so much. Anyway, In my haste to get back home, I forgot my zoom data card in school, and now I have to settle for one cyber café down the road that has a very rude punk ass as its operator. And, since ASUU has decided to be ASUU, I'm stuck here for a while…

Until I come your away some time very soon, I remain yours sincerely Scarlet boy wishing you a blessed and fun filled week.

Ciao